In a society where ‘men [still] don’t cry’ it somehow feels wrong to come for help, reaching out and talking to someone. In accordance to the Men’s Health Forum, on average, 191,000 men a year report stress, depression or anxiety caused or made worse by work. Men are nearly three times more likely than women to become alcohol dependent. There is considerable debate about the true level of common mental health disorders in men and whether larger numbers of men than women may be undiagnosed. This means most men don’t reach out for help. But I have seen the difference counselling has made in my clients, and I encourage male clients to come for regular sessions. It is amazing what a positive impact they may feel in their lives, be it short or long term work.

Coming to counselling is one of the first steps you can take to look after yourself. I always ask my clients: I wonder how you expect others to care for you when you don’t seem to have much care for yourself… Shouldn’t it first start with you?

It is easy to look for other people to satisfy our innermost needs, only to eventually realise no one is infallible and that disappointment is a part of life. So why not start developing some care for ourselves?

In managing expectations and disappointments, we are managing our feelings and reactions. When my clients gain awareness of the dynamics in their relationships they become enabled to leave what no longer serves them behind. By expressing their innermost feelings in counselling they find their way forward.

Learning and adapting is a life journey. When we think we have it, we lose it again. Coping strategies, tools and psycho-education are essential to grow as an individual. Be it a feeling of stuckness, deep depression, inability to function, impotency or simply a lack of control in your life, where you may feel in fear at all times, this can be resolved. There are ways to cope and feel better. Just reach out.